About this time a year ago, I sat bored at work. I somehow managed to stumble across a Best Buy Black Friday essay writing contest and ten minutes and 250 words later, I submitted an essay that was farfetched to say the least. I thought it would just cause whoever had to read it to laugh and move on to their next essay. I also knew I was going to visit San Francisco during the time that I would have to be present to win, so I applied for that Best Buy's contest when asked where I would be just in case I won.
So after I had forgotten about it completely, and about three or four days before I was going to visit Becky in SF, I got an email indicating I was a "Finalist." Not having any clue what the hell a "Finalist" was, I emailed her to see if I won, or if I was in some drawing for the winning or something. She told me I won as long as I was 18 or older and not working for Best Buy. Done and done. I don't think I ever posted it, so I figured I might as well now. For those wondering, I won a limo ride for 4 (even though there were only two of us because I don't know people in SF other than Becky), a mini video camera, a bunch of miscellaneous stuff like chairs, duffle bags, scarves, food, fleece jackets, head bands, movies... oh, and a $1,000 gift card. Yeah. That happened. So, without further ado, here is the essay that for some reason someone determined to be worth a total of $2,000 in prizes.
"My absolute favorite time of the year is the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Black Friday is like a Christmas Season Kick-Off Party with no limits. I think my favorite part of the Holiday (if you can call it that) is my Grandmother. Nana has always been a bargain hunter, but toward recent years she doesn't have the energy or health to shop the way she used to. Black Friday, however, doesn't count. This woman could be on her death bed and yet has no problems scrapping with even the burliest of men to get the deals she's looking for. Only on Black Friday will you see this woman go from rolling in a wheelchair to pushing a shopping cart, from oxygen tank to fisticuffs and from sweet and innocent to downright mean and dirty. It is every year on this day that I realize that Nana isn’t in poor health year round, she is simply resting for 364 days (365 on a leap year) so she can come out in full force on one day a year. So this year, when I see her get slightly peppy on Thanksgiving and filling up on turkey, I will know this is really just her pre game meal. So let this serve as your warning. Shoppers Beware: Feisty Nana on the Loose, Shop at Your Own Risk."
Outside, they pampered me for what should have been an hour, but was only 10 minutes, but I didn't mind. I was getting all kinds of crap. I chugged a Red Bull and then went on a shopping rampage.